Fine I'll Say It: Confessions Of A Reluctant Vampire Lover
I'll be the first to admit there's something undeniably magnetic about vampires. Girls … trust me, I KNOW. They are as beautiful as they are dramatic and oh so tortured. But when it comes to potential partners, they're not exactly at the top of my list. Why, you ask? Well, buckle up, because I've got some thoughts.
Let's start with the obvious: I’M NOT DRINKING BLOOD. I've heard the argument that if you're a vampire, you'll somehow come to enjoy it. If you agree with the previous statement, you’re probably yelling at the screen right now. But seriously, no thank you! Talk about torture. No way could my idea of breakfast, lunch, or dinner involve a pint of O negative. Did I mention I'm squeamish? Thank God for paranormal fantasy romance authors who’ve come up with creative ways for vampires to enjoy human food. Oh, and thank God I’m one of them!
DO YOU LIKE YOUR VAMPIRES TO ONLY DRINK BLOOD?
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DO YOU LIKE YOUR VAMPIRES TO ONLY DRINK BLOOD? 🩸
I don’t know about you, but my family wouldn’t react the best if a thousand-year-old vampire wanted me to live with him for eternity. My parents would have some serious questions. Also, why can’t people who mate with vampires also turn their family and friends? Is it because none of them wants to be a vampire? Yeah, that sounds about right. Sure, forbidden romance has its allure, but not being able to share eternity with loved ones dampens the experience.
ARE YOU LEAVING THE FAM FOR A THOUSAND YEAR OLD VAMPIRE OR NAH?
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ARE YOU LEAVING THE FAM FOR A THOUSAND YEAR OLD VAMPIRE OR NAH? ❤️
And don't even get me started on the whole "thirst" situation. It might sound sexy in theory—a primal, insatiable hunger that only your love can sate—but in practice? Not so much. In reality, a vampire is really a creepy stage 10 clinger and there’s only so many times you can explain a disappearance before someone ends up in prison.
BUT DESPITE THESE DRAWBACKS,
I'll admit there's still something undeniably interesting about vampires. Maybe it's their mysterious allure, or their eternal youth, or their ability to sweep you off your feet with just a smoldering gaze. Or maybe, just maybe, it's the challenge of trying to tame the untamable—to find love in the most unlikely of places with the most unlikely of beings.
So, I’ve taken on that task. My novella, Love Bites, was the first step. Its sequel, Bite Me Once More, aims to expand the world of vampires beyond my list of icks and deal breakers. If you haven’t read Love Bites yet, these vampires can see their reflections, enjoy human food, and even give birth or be born! Cool, right? Bite Me Once More will explore more of those themes with monster hunter Raven Carter Jones and the very rich and newly awakened Saire Nassir. I plan to make things very bloody, sexy, and romantic. Who knows, maybe I'll fully convert to the dark side by the time I finish.
So here's to the vampires—the creatures who haunt our dreams and steal our hearts, whether we like it or not.
Yours Cryptically.
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Art commissioned by Alex Copeman @alexcopeman on Instagram.
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